Pros And Cons Of Keeping Secrets From Your Partner
We all have secrets that only we know and those secrets were never shared to other people no matter how close or intimate we are. I even have secrets I never share to my husband but is it really okay to keep those secrets? I’ve read a lot of articles where they tell us to be open and honest to our pair but is it really necessary for us to tell even our deepest and darkest secret? This is what I’ll be talking about in today’s article and I will show you the pros and cons of this matter.
Advantages of Keeping Secrets
The first advantage of keeping your secrets from your partner is that you will not get hurt again. You may have had a traumatic experience and it’s so hard for you to share it with someone because when you do, you would be able to relive the memory and you would be traumatized all over again. Keeping your secret would do you good and if that experience is very painful, I think your partner will understand why you hid that fact. Another advantage would be that your partner will not get hurt. You see, when you share your secrets to someone, you are leaving them a piece of your memory and you are binded by it. When you share a painful experience, your partner will also feel pain. So what happens when you share a traumatic one? For sure, your partner would give you justice that you deserve and would act upon their instinct to avenge you from the people who hurt you. This would likely cause a big problem that both you and your pair will be involved. If you think that your secret would be too much for your spouse to handle, then just keep it to yourself.
Disadvantages of Keeping Secrets
The number one disadvantage of keeping secrets is that your pair would think you’re telling them everything about you but didn’t. When they found out about it from other people, they would feel betrayed that you didn’t tell them everything. Your pair might also think that the other things you said before are all lies. The only possible solution for this is to explain why you kept that secret. However, once a person loses all their trust to you, it’s hard to earn it back immediately. That person would assume that all your words are lies and would not like to talk to you anymore. Another is that when you keep a secret from your partner, it would sooner cause a bigger problem in the future. I always believe that our past has an impact to our future so whatever we did in the past would affect our future. When the time comes where your secret caused a problem to both of you, you will need a legitimate explanation. There’s also a possibility that your relationship will be ruined and you won’t have any choice but to break up because of the huge damage your secret caused. If you think it would cause a problem in the future, I suggest talking about it early in the relationship.
